You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
