Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
