you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
