Don't you send me to vm
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
