she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Randomize
