Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
