I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
PS: I just woke up from my shower
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
