Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
operation have a gay friend backfired
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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