I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
We're too hungover to prance.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize
