what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
this is an emotional support booty call
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
