Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
