You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
