i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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