i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
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