I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
