The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
