I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
