good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
