She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize