just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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