Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
