He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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