yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Randomize
