I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
