i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
