I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
