We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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