im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
