Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
