have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
