Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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