It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
