I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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