Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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