I showed him my bush... on skype.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
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