It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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