i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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