Sry I called you an 8
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
