Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Randomize
