I forgot how hot balto sounded
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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