fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
