i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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