It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
