I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
smell my finger.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize