Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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