me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I want her autograph on my taint
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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