when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
This house was built for laser tag.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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