pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
