Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
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