You're my little dorito
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
