I skipped work to stalk him.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Randomize
