toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
