brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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