so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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