too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
