he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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