I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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